


Fun With Math

by ShatteredDragon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Explicit Language, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Out of Character, Romance, Sexual Content, Slash sex, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-01
Updated: 2012-11-01
Packaged: 2018-10-01 01:11:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10177187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShatteredDragon/pseuds/ShatteredDragon
Summary: Harry Potter disappeared five years ago most think hes dead what happens when two sneaky slytherins find him in a muggle GED math class? why they decide to teach him math the fun way SS/HP/DM Mpreg and Sirius is a jerk. Light bashing of RW and heavy SB bashing. THIS WAS AN EARLY WORK AND I AM NOT ENTIRELY HAPPY WITH IT. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

A/N I'm back! Anyway I was sitting in my own ged math class and this popped into my head.   
and since the teacher decided to leave us alone with a teacher that had no idea what he   
was doing and just kept repeating what she had just taught i decided to write it down. btw i am   
having some issues with my keyboard not registering that i have typed a certain key so any   
spelling mistakes with missing letters im very sorry about.

btw i changed my an i originally called the teacher a retard which was uncalled for i was just severely pissed off that the man kept reteaching us things that the previous teacher had already taught us he doesnt seem to understand that just because we are in a ged class doesnt mean that we are incapable of learning anything past a fourth grade level so i apologize if i offended anyone it was not meant to be offensive

Fun With Math

 

Chapter one

Harry Potter was bored. He was sitting in a muggle GED class. He'd left the wizarding world,   
and Britain, almost directly after the final battle. Now he was sitting in a Portland Community   
College classroom in Oregon, in the United States of America, trying to learn enough to pass his   
exams and get his high school diploma so that he could get a decent job to support himself. He   
knew some people were still looking for him, even though it had been five years since he'd   
packed all his possessions, said goodbye to those still alive (and who knew he was alive), and   
left his past behind forever. He had lied to them, and promised to write, knowing it was the only   
way he was getting out of Britain without giving an exact destination. After all, Hermione was   
scary when she was riled up. Harry thought of his best mate for years, Ron Weasley, who he   
knew would not be one of the people searching for him. He and Harry had had a falling out in   
fifth year.

Harry had started dating a Slytherin named Blaise Zabini and Ron had completely lost it when   
Harry had told him. Harry and Blaise had been dating for nearly two years when Blaise had   
been cruelly ripped from him in the last weeks before the final battle. Voldemort, knowing the   
end was near, had been scrambling to recruit, willing or not, you either joined or died. Blaise   
had been abducted from the train on the way to King's Cross after the leaving feast at the end of   
their seventh and final year. Death Eaters had attacked the train, taking all the seventh and sixth   
year purebloods they could find. Some, like Luna, had managed to stay off their radar, but   
others, like Susan Bones, had not. Susan had been stubborn, and had refused to bow down to   
Voldemort and, consequently, had been tortured to death.

When they had attacked, Harry had been in the loo. Harry had bolted from the loo at the first   
scream. When he had seen the figures with the black robes and bone white masks dragging   
students towards the rear of the train, he panicked.

"Blaise!" He screamed frantically. He had to find Blaise! Finally he spotted him running towards   
him. Blaise was only 30 feet from him when it happened. Harry saw a Death Eater appear   
behind Blaise and raise his wand. Thinking quickly, Harry raised his own wand. "Accio Blaise!"   
He shouted. Blaise flew towards him but he never got to Harry. A Death Eater apparated   
directly into Blaise's path, intercepting him and apparating away again before Harry could even   
so much as think of doing anything to stop him.

Twelve hours later, Harry was laid out on the couch in the living room of Number Twelve   
Grimauld Place, tears leaking down his face at a steady pace, though slower than before.   
Suddenly, a loud, thunder like sound reverberated through the house. Harry leapt to his feet,   
racing to the front window, shifting the curtain aside to see into the square. Two dozen Death   
Eaters and Lord Voldemort himself stood there.

"Potter! I have a gift for you." Harry's blood froze in his veins when two Death Eaters came   
forth with a wooden cross floating between them. Ther was a figure pinned to the cross, but   
Harry was unable to see who it was. "It seems, my dear Harry, that you were hiding something   
from me, hmm? A lover, perhaps?" And in a sudden rush of cold, terrifying, horrible clarity,   
Harry knew just exactly who was nailed to that damnable wood. Harry tore open the door and   
raced towards the group, but was, once again, not quick enough, and screamed in horror and   
heart breaking pain as Voldemort pointed his wand at Blaise, firing off a curse that Harry could   
not hear, but could, quite clearly, see the effects of. Blaise's stomach began to bloat and, within   
moments, his intestines were pushing their way through to drop to the filthy ground below him.   
Voldemort laughed and ordered his Death Eaters to destroy the Order then left, still laughing.   
Harry vaguely heard Sirius shouting his name, but he paid him no attention. He could feel his   
magic fighting to get out and, for once, he did not fight to reign it in. He simply gave in to his   
screaming instincts.

He pulled his wand, pointed it at the gathered crowd of Death Eaters, and screamed the words   
for that most horrible of curses.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

A massive light, green as his eyes, burst from his wand, encompassing the group. When the light   
had faded, all the robed figures were lying dead upon the ground, looks of terror on each face.

Harry could feel someone shaking him, yelling his name. Harry shook him off and stumbled on   
shaky legs to Blaise's body. He carefully pulled the nails out with his magic and cradled his   
broken, lifeless body to his own, sobbing his heart out. Harry felt hands lift Blaise's body and   
jerked his head up to see Moody gently lifting Blaise into his arms. Harry climbed to his feet and   
followed the man into the house.

Sirius grabbed his arm and dragged him into the kitchen where the rest of the Order was   
gathered.

"What the hell were you thinking, Harry?!" Sirius screamed in his face. "Why would you risk   
your life for that scum?! He's just a dirty snake! A Slytherin! He isn't worth it!"

Those that knew of Harry and Blaise's relationship backed up, even Ron. They had all seen   
how protective Harry was of Blaise, and they all knew that what Sirius had just said and what   
Harry had seen tonight was going to push him over the edge.

"That so called scum, that you just insulted, was the love of my life. I was going to propose to   
him at the dinner party tomorrow night. You would do well to keep your opinions to yourself."

Sirius' face was steadily darkening in anger, and he did not heed the warning in Harry's voice   
and eyes.

"Well, I guess its a good thing he died tonight because you would have been sorely disappointed   
tomorrow when I had informed you that said engagement would never be happening, since I   
have control of your vaults until your twenty first birthday and I can cut you off at any time, for   
any reason. No godson of mine is going to marry a dirty snake!"

At this point, everyone in the know decided it would be a good time to head for the hills. Harry   
started growling before he grabbed Sirius by the throat and hoisted him up against the wall and   
began shaking him like a rag doll. Severus Snape, the only one brave enough to stay, pried   
Harry's fingers off Sirius' throat and started speaking.

"Potter! I know he's an asshole, but you can not kill him. If you go to Azkaban, then Voldemort   
wins. Is that what you want? For Blaise's death to be in vain?"

Harry shook Snape off and got up in Sirius' face.

"Since you want to threaten me with my inheritance then I guess now is a good time to tell you   
that you can keep it for all I care. And as far as I am concerned, you are no longer my   
godfather." And with Sirius' shell shocked face burned into his memory, Harry left Grimauld, not   
once looking back.

Moody had brought him Blaise's body for burial a few days later and two weeks after the   
funeral, Voldemort was dead, with all but a select few believing that Harry had died with him.   
Now here he was, in muggle America, in a class for high school dropouts.

He didn't pay attention when the teacher walked in. In fact, he was so far into la-la land that it   
took the shocking familiarity of the teacher's voice to bring him out of it.

"Welcome, class, to math. This class is for your GED and if you are not serious about it, I   
suggest you leave now and save us all a lot of wasted time and energy. My name is Severus   
Snape and I will be your teacher in this course. Now since many people decide not to continue   
with my classes after the first lesson, I will be taking roll call so that I will know next lesson who   
is serious about being here and learning." Harry's heart had frozen in his chest when he heard   
that silky voice. It seized up altogether when he heard him call,

"Malfoy, Draco," and heard a soft "Here." in reply.

After the softly spoken, "Parker, Anaise," Snape froze and Harry could hear a soft indrawn   
breath, then, "Potter, Harry."

Harry raised his head and his eyes met those of his former potion's professor. Snape's eyes   
widened, then his head snapped up and bellowed out, "Everyone other than misters Potter and   
Malfoy need to leave this class. Now!" And just like that, the desks were empty, with the   
students all trying to squeeze out the door at the same time.

Draco and Snape both turned towards Harry and looked at him expectantly.

"Well, Potter? Are you going to explain or just sit there like the moron you are?"

"Sev, love, stop being a bastard." Draco then looked at Harry and simply said, "Why?"

Harry dragged in a shaky breath and began speaking.

"I fellin love with, not one, but two men. And I couldn't have either one of them because they   
were already in love. With each other. It hurt to have to see them every day. Then they started   
giving me odd looks and I knew they had figured it out. I didn't want to cause problems and I   
didn't want to hurt anymore, so I left. I made it look like I may have died, told Hermione,   
Neville, and Luna I was leaving then split. And I haven't been back since."

Harry finished his story and looked up. Draco had a shocked look on his face while Snape was   
just frozen. Then Draco spoke up.

"Wait, I thought you were with Blaise."

Harry chuckled. "That was one of my better sneaky ideas, but also the worst at the same time.   
Blaise and I were never lovers. We were blood brothers. I asked him to pretend to date me to   
keep the rabid fans away and he laughed and agreed. He thought it was a brilliant idea, even   
after I reminded him that he could be in more danger from Voldemort."

"So who was it you were in love with?" Snape queried.

"I'm sorry. I can not tell you that. But you won't have to worry about having to deal with me   
anymore. I'll be moving along as soon as I can get home and get the place packed up."

Harry gathered his things and moved to leave, never noticing the knowing, plotting look the   
other two men shared, nor the semi-evil grins upon their faces. Harry felt someone grab his arm   
then felt the uncomfortable sensation of apparition, before landing on a softness that could only   
be a bed, with a naked body on either side of him.

"You were correct, Mr. Potter. We DID notice the longing, lust filled looks you had been   
throwing our way. It confused us because we, like everyone else, thought you madly in love   
with Blaise. It upset us because when we noticed you looking at us in such a way, it made us   
realized our own feelings for you. We were in love with you, too."

Harry's breath hitched in his chest and he looked at the faces of the two men hovering above   
him, looking at him with twin looks of love and lust in their eyes.

"So you see, Mr. Potter, you will not be going anywhere. Not without us, at any rate. Now how   
about we have some fun with math?"

Harry laughed and reached up to pull Snape down to him as he felt Draco begin to remove his   
clothing. He moaned into the kiss when he felt Snape's tongue delve into his mouth, licking every   
surface it could reach. He felt Draco remove his trousers and pants as Snape's nimble fingers   
unbuttoned his shirt and removed it to get at the smooth skin beneath. Harry whimpered as   
Snape ended the kiss.

"Harry. This is important. Have you ever had sex before?"

Harry looked at him and whimpered before nodding. Snape grinned before leaning down to lick   
and nip his way down Harry's neck to his nipples. Meanwhile Draco had been woking his way   
up Harry's legs to his cock, licking and sucking randomly. He looked at the tip and licked his   
lips before gently blowing on it. Harry's hips bucked and he moaned loudly. Draco smirked to   
himself.

'If he liked that he's going to love this.'

Draco opened his mouth and completely swallowed Harry down. Harry screamed and   
desperately tried to thrust his hips but Draco held him down, keeping his hand tightly around   
Harry's base to keep him from coming as he used all the skill at his disposal to bring Harry as   
much pleasure as possible. After a few minutes he wordlessly conjured lubrication onto his   
fingers and began to probe Harry's hole. He slid first one then two fingers in, giving Harry the   
minimum stretching required to not tear around Severus' sizeable girth while still being tight   
enough to drive Severus insane with desire. He pulled off Harry's cock and removed his fingers   
from his pulsing, sucking hole to grab Severus' cock and lube it with what remained on his hand.   
Severus groaned at the feel of Draco's hand and removed his mouth with a pop from Harry's   
throat where he had been busy leaving his mark. He thrust his hips shallowly into Draco's hand a   
few times before pulling away to flip Harry onto his chest and knees with his arse in the air.

"I'm going to fuck you, hard and fast, and you are going to love it. You are going to be a good   
little slut and tell me with your body how much you love my big cock plowing into your abused   
little hole. And if I think you've been a good enough fuck, I'll let you come. While I'm fucking   
your arse, Draco will be fucking your mouth. I want you to swallow him all down. You see   
we've waited years to have you all to ourselves and I think it's only fair that we get a very nice   
reward, don't you? So, we're going to fuck you until we all come then, when we've all   
recovered, Draco and I are going to switch and do it all over again until we've all collapsed from   
exhaustion."

Harry only had time to shiver at the tone in Severus' voice before screaming out in ecstasy as   
Severus thrust brutally into his body, groaning at the warm tightness surrounding his cock.

"Almost forgot," he murmured before grabbing Harry around the base of his cock and muttering   
something. Harry gasped out as he felt cold metal encircle him and whined when Severus told   
him that it would only open for him.

Draco shifted into place in front of Harry and Harry raised himself onto his hands and opened   
his mouth, allowing Draco to thrust his throbbing cock deep into his waiting mouth, gagging him   
as Draco's cock went partially down his throat. Draco groaned as he roughly grabbed Harry's   
hair, pulled back, and began a punishing pace with Harry attempting to breathe.

"Gonna fuck your mouth hard and come all over that pretty face. Then I'm going to smear it in   
so that you'll always be marked as our whore."

Harry was in heaven though. All of his previous lovers had assumed that because he was petite,   
he would prefer slow gentle lovemaking to hard, fast fucking. When he had attempted to correct   
them, they had expressed discomfort with the idea of being rough with him. So to Harry, to   
have two men who weren't afraid they were going to break him while fucking him was a dream   
come true. That it was the two men he'd never thought he could have was icing on the cake.

Severus leaned over and paused in the middle of pounding into him, making Harry whine in the   
back of his throat, which in turn made Draco groan deep in his throat. Severus moved his mouth   
close to Harry's ear.

"You see, Harry, one plus one plus one equals three. See? We're having fun with math," Snape   
said in his velvety voice, and with that Snape leaned back, pulled his cock all the way out until   
only the tip remained, then snapped his hips forward, slamming into Harry's prostate at the same   
time as he removed the cock ring. Draco, somehow, had managed to time his latest thrust into   
Harry's mouth with the loosening of the ring, and had managed to finally succeed in getting his   
cock the rest of the way down Harry's throat. That was all Harry could take as he exploded all   
over the black silk sheets below him, screaming around Draco's cock and his hole pulsing   
around Severus', causing sensation to shoot through both men, dragging their orgasms from   
them. Harry swallowed convulsively around Draco until he removed his cock from his mouth to   
finish spurting over Harry's face. When Draco's orgasm had finished he used his still mostly hard   
cock to smear the come on Harry's face over his cheeks and chin then lightly thrusted back into   
Harry's mouth as an indicator that he should clean him up. Harry lightly suckled on Draco's   
cock while licking everywhere he could reach, trying to get as much of his come as he could, for   
he thought Draco tasted divine. Draco shuddered at the sensations racing through his cock,   
which was rapidly becoming overly sensitive.

As satiation set in, all three men collapsed in a heap, limbs tangled together. Harry chuckled   
exhaustedly, with his arm thrown over his face.

"We really had fun with math, didn't we?"

His comment made both men snicker tiredly before they curled around Harry and fell asleep,   
waking a few hours later to do it all over again. Their night consisted of much of the same with   
Draco and Severus switching places and Harry just sitting back and enjoying the ride.   
Surprisingly, Harry was never uncomfortable with the fact that noone asked him to move in;   
he'd just never left and everyone was happy with this arragement.

3 Months Later

Harry came bouncing into the kitchen around lunch time with a grin on his face. Draco and   
Severus looked at him, noting the grin with relief. Harry had been getting violently sick for   
weeks now and he had finally agreed to see a healer.

"Hey, Sev, I think you need to give up teaching math."

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Because you were wrong. One plus one plus one does NOT in fact equal three. It equals five."

And with that very confusing statement he laid something on the table for both men to see. They   
leaned over and promptly fainted when they realized that it was an ultrasound, one that showed,   
not one but, two fetuses. They awoke a few minutes later to the sight of Harry rolling around on   
the floor under the table, laughing at them. They looked at each other before showing matching   
evil grins and grabbing Harry before apparating to their bed to have some more "fun with math."


	2. Chapter 1

Epilogue (otherwise known as chapter 2 cuz my hands hurt too much to type it with the rest of the story .)

Severus winced and Draco groaned as Harry screamed and clutched their hands in pain, nearly   
breaking them as he bore down on the next contraction. Harry had been horrified when he had   
been informed that he would have to deliver the babies the same way they had been conceived:   
anally. Now, here he was desperately attempting to birth his children while violently cursing the   
men who had gotten him into this position.

"If you ever try to even come NEAR me again, I'll hex your dicks off! One of YOU is carrying   
the next one!"

Then would come the crying.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it! Please don't leave me! I love both of you."

Then before either man could assure him they weren't going anywhere, he would begin cursing   
them again. He would really be cursing them to the depths of hell if he knew who was waiting   
outside.

Five exhausting hours later, the first baby made an appearance. Healer Logan held the baby up   
for the proud, happy fathers to see a full head of inky black hair and deep onyx eyes. Severus'   
breath hitched as he realized this was his child.

"Its a boy!"

She handed the small baby off to Madam Pomphrey, who had floo'd over to assist with the   
birth. Harry felt another contraction and bore down, hard. Moments later, Healer Logan held up   
the baby to show them the nearly white-blonde hair and dazzling grey speckled emerald eyes.

"Its a girl!"

Draco nearly fainted when he heard those words. He still had the shocked look on his face ten   
minutes later when Harry looked at him after being made comfortable.

"Draco? Love, what is it?"

Draco slowly shook himself and turned to Harry.

"Love, you've done the impossible, yet again!"

Harry frowned in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

Draco chuckled, "There has never, in the history of the Malfoy name, been a female born with   
the name Malfoy. Before now, all Malfoy ladies were married into the family."

Harry gaped at him before turning when he heard the door open. His face paled when he saw   
Hermione striding across the room.

"Harry James Potter! How dare you never write to me!" Then, surprisingly, she hugged him. "I   
missed you, Little Brother."

Harry broke down sobbing and began to apologize profusely.

"Its ok, Harry. I get it. Just dont cut me out next time, ok?"

Harry nodded and wiped his eyes.

"So, what are you guys naming them?"

Harry grinned and motioned to his son. "This is Amantius Aquila Lucius Potter-Snape. And this   
little beauty," He motioned toward his daughter, "is Aurelia Delphini Eileen Potter-Malfoy."

Hermione cooed at the babies for a bit before saying her goodbyes. As the family settled in for   
the night, Harry couldn't help but smile as he thought of all the joy they would experience in the   
years to come.


End file.
